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How to Remove Your Digital Ex

Divorce or breakup can be heartbreaking. And the heartbreak can prove all the more intense if we’re unable to avoid contact with our exes- or reminders of life with them. So if you’ve suffered a breakup, then, how can you remove your ex from your digital life?

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Block or Unfollow Your Ex

This would seem to be elementary. Most of us, though, find it difficult to suppress curiosity about our exes. Still, we have to discipline ourselves to avoid searching their profiles. If we do search them, we train the Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram algorithms to show us more about them, and this is also true of inquiries on browser search engines such as Google, Safari, or Firefox.

You may also have to mute friends or family members (temporarily, of course) who often share photos of your ex. This tells the algorithms you want to avoid these people, and your feed will feature different posts.

Remove Memories from Your Tablets, Phones, and Social Media

If you own one of the newer iPhones, this will be easy. In iOS 14, you’ll find a tool labelled Suggest Fewer Memories Like This. To activate it, open the Photos tab. Tap the For You icon, and you’ll find a list labelled Memory. Choose one you want to eliminate. You’ll find three dots next to your choice. Hit these, and you’ll be shown two options: Delete Memory and Suggest Fewer Memories Like This.

In Facebook, you’ll find the Hide People option on the left side of the Memories page.

Google Photos offers the options of hiding people, pets, or even particular dates- so you can avoid painful reminders of anniversaries. Find the Photos app, scroll to Photo Settings, and open the Memories tab. When you find it, hit the Hide People or Pets or Hide Date icons.

Monitor Your Smart Home Devices

If you neglect this step, you’re begging for trouble. Out of concern for privacy, we recommend NOT acquiring an Alexa or Siri device in the first place. If you do have one, though, and you can’t bear to part with it, at least exercise caution with it. An ex could activate the device remotely- even when you’re away from your home.

Kim Komando, a web expert who bills herself “Your Digital Goddess”, says she’s heard more stories than she can count about exes connecting to WiFi systems of old mates and bugging their routers. Even worse, it’s legal in most jurisdictions to hack WiFi.

Remove or Audit Old Accounts

Some web services, such as iCloud and Google Drive, allow access by exes to sensitive data, including text and photos, so you may have to contact the provider to remove your ex’s access. Exercise special vigilance in monitoring shared paid services, and ejecting your ex if necessary.

Change Your Passwords and Security Questions

Kim Komando suggests changing your passwords to any old accounts if there’s even a chance your ex still has them. And don’t forget the security questions. Even in a casual relationship, partners are likely remember important events in each other’s histories.

For paid services, such as Netflix, you may need additional steps after changing passwords. Check the box marked Require All Devices to Sign in Again with New Password. You’ll have to log in again, but your privacy- and avoiding additional expense- is worth the inconvenience.

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If you want to remove your ex from your online activity, these suggestions will help. Remember: eternal vigilance is the price of privacy.

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BACKING UP YOUR COMPUTER

Have you been backing up your computer? If you’re like the rest of us poor sinning mortals, you probably haven’t. It might not have even crossed your mind.

And why should it? Very few people suffer the theft of their laptops or the crashing of hard drives, so it’s easy to assume that our files are safe. We have nothing to worry about, right?

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Still, it’s wise to take a few precautions. Given what’s at stake, we should be backing up our computers routinely. If a power outage or accident destroys your computer, you could lose years of photos or business files, and if someone steals your laptop, you could lose all of the data for a project you’ve been working on for months. As a writer who has rough drafts for up to a dozen clients in my computer at any one time, I certainly couldn’t afford to take chances.

Data backup might not be as critical for your career, but you’ll probably feel the pain from data loss if your computer fails or is stolen.

What can you do, then? What means do you need for backing up your computer?For the most complete protection, you’ll need to combine local backup with cloud storage.

LOCAL BACKUP

PCs and Macs already have built-in backup systems that are highly reliable, but you’ll need an external hard drive to use them properly. Seagate and Western Digital offer reasonably-priced models with solid reputations.. As a rule, your external drive should have at least as much capacity as your internal drive. Ideally, it will have 50% to 100% more.

Windows 10  (File History/ Backup and Restore)

Microsoft offers integrated backup with Windows 10. Plug in your hard drive, and find your File History setting. Select the folders you want backed up, and how often you want Windows to do it. You will need to keep your hard drive plugged in for the backup function.

Mac OS X  (Time Machine)

Mac offers a unique tool called Time Machine. Just plug in your hard drive and open Time Machine for configuration as your backup drive. The software will handle the backing up of your files automatically, at scheduled intervals. If you need to reset your Mac, or you buy a new one, OS X will prompt you to enable Time Machine backup to restore your files from.

CLOUD STORAGE

Local backup is important, but it’s vulnerable. Like hard drives and other hardware, local backup is subject to destruction, theft, or loss. For complete protection, then, consider cloud storage. For individual files, the simplest means of cloud backup is with online systems such as Dropbox, iCloud, OneDrive, and Google Drive. All enable scanning of local folders and simple uploading of them to the cloud. Then, even if your computer is destroyed, you can log into your account and open your files from anywhere.

If you need even more protection, you might consider a subscription service such as Backblaze. It costs $5.00 per month or $50.00 per year. It’s not as convenient for casual use as Dropbox or Google Drive, but it is highly secure full-service cloud storage.

 

With a few simple precautions, backing up your files and preventing critical data loss will be easy.

 

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